CD # 14:50 Talk with Dmae track 1 0:00-2:00
I’m rainjita geesler and today is Tuesday august 31st. And today I am leaving for Korea, and it is a very exciting time because I am going with my mother and we are going back to try to find her family after 30 years. I feel not only nervous and a little scared but also a little excited. I’m hoping to connect with some family members, find some roots. And there is a lot of anticipation for that, going back after so long, and to me it’s the first time so, and for my mother going back after 30 years to see if any of her family is still living. And for me to find my cousins and look into a familiar face. So that’s some of the things that I want to find, connect with my roots. Another thing is to be on the land of my mother…
2:33- I feel like it’s a perfect time do be doing this together. Years ago turbulent relationship… she came to visit me, I was high and mighty. She was having a hard time relating… we were driving, stop here, bar… and before that we were fighting a lot. Then we started having it out at the bar. Yelling, crying, I felt like that was a point where things turned around for us. We were crying and that was a turning point. Everything came out. For me it was about forgiving her for leaving when I was young. It took up to that point for me to resolve that in my mind. To see her as a woman and an immigrant it took that long for me to see who she was as a young woman. Now I feel like we’r benefiting from that and more respectful as women, respecting one another as women.
4:55- I feel underneath, her leaving when I was four, I feel like that’s where a lot of my issues came from. Why did mom leave? That was the stem. I see my brother has issues with my mom, he hasn’t gotten to know her or accept her. I hope he can find that soon, because I see it impacting his relationships.